On Friday, August 8th, an active shooter opened fire near the Center for Disease Control and Prevention and Emory University Campuses in Atlanta, GA, killing a police officer. While Secretary Kennedy and CDC Director Susan Monarez posted condolences on X (formerly Twitter), Kennedy visited the campus Monday. I felt anger bubble up as Kennedy posted a video encouraging Americans to join a gym, rather than addressing the public health threat of gun violence this weekend.
After 200 days of Trump 2.0, this was the news that broke me. I have colleagues who lost jobs and funding, and clients at risk of losing their healthcare (see Medicaid effects of the OBBBA). I have a fear of clients being deported (Medicaid data given to ICE) or homeless clients disappearing. I have seen pediatric clients hospitalized due to vaccine-preventable diseases (while Kennedy removes all members of the CDC vaccine advisory committee). I have colleagues who took the Hippocratic or Nightingale oaths accused of putting profits before patient health. Colleagues who dedicated years of education to develop health innovation have had their funding slashed. And now, CDC employees dealt with the trauma of potentially losing their lives at their job, but will be expected to be at your grant evaluation call next week.
All I can think of is the quote from Russell Vought, the head of the Office of Management and Budget and Project 2025 Architect:
“We want the bureaucrats (federal employees) to be traumatically affected. When they wake up in the morning , we want them to not want to go to work, because they are increasingly viewed as the villains. We want their funding to be shut down. We want to put them in trauma.”
I think of this quote whenever one of my coworkers or colleagues is short with me. They want us to take the stress out on each other. They want us to tear each other down. They want us tired, exhausted, and burnt out. SO, doing whatever you can to protect your health and mental health is radical and necessary. Take those days off, because we need you in the long run.
Build community. Ask your colleagues to get coffee and bitch. If your coworker didn’t meet an internal deadline, give them grace. We are all struggling, and we have to take care of each other. Maybe you noticed I haven’t been writing as much this summer- because it has been tough for me too. Keep up the good fight, friends, and know it is ok to feel this way.
“My rage burns in my psyche with an intensity that creates clarity. It is a constructive healing rage… a way for us to learn to see clearly.'“- bell hooks